I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You made out with two different species that night
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
