I'm laying in your front yard are you home
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
