why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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