So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
