Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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