i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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