So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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