just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
