CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I didn't notice because vodka
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
