Christians are straight up FREAKS
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize