Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
