Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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