just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
