she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
