I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
