Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
