THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
