I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
