Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
