Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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