I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
