and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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