Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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