I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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