i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
