fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
