Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
