Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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