Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
