after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
