Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Did I show you my penis last night?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
