Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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