This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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