i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
