I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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