YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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