Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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