Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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