i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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