wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I love you. Go after that dick
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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