If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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