call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
