He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
