This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I could have mohawked her pubes.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
