so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
