Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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