I hate your face
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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