You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
