I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
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