Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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