I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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