I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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