the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
