Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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