I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
