There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
