OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
