I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
