Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize