I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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