I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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