Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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