She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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